[And 25 Other Things You Will Never Hear Uttered In White America]
From the people who brought you “No More Fried Chicken” [And 25 Other Things You Will Never Hear Uttered In Black America] comes this new post. We decided to compile another list...this time we take a look at utterances from a different cultural perspective.
2. “In all honesty, I’m ecstatic about that Black family moving in next door.”
3. “Who cleaned the chitterlings?”
4. "We named our son Billy, after his father, William, but we just call him Junebug."
5. "Why should I lock my car door? That hoodie-wearing Black gentleman approaching is most certainly a law abiding citizen."
6.
"Hmmm, oversized cartoon character fuzzy slippers. The label says to
only wear them indoors but I wear all the rest of my shoes wherever I
go, including outdoors. Why should these be any different?"
7. “What’s up, my nigga?”
8. “Tabasco sauce? No thanks. Do you have any Frank’s RedHot or Louisiana Brand hot sauce?”
9. “What is mayonnaise?”
10. “Louis Farrakhan has so many valid points. His logic is simply irrefutable.”
11. “I changed my last name to Muhammad because Hinkelstein was my slave name.”
12. “Domino, mothaf*cka!”
13.
“Daniel, when you’re finished frying that bacon, let me know. I’m
going to pour the grease in that coffee can on the stove. That’s
perfectly good bacon grease.”
14. “Bob Seger? Who the hell is Bob Seger?”
15. “So, then J.J. told Thelma & Michael...”
16. “Watch my footwork.”
17. “I know my waves got you seasick! It’s the Dax.”
18. “Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are fine representatives for us all.”
19. “I actually believe that O.J. didn’t do it.”
20.
“I’m currently working as an insurance agent, but when my mixtape comes
out next month, I’m going to transition into rapping full time.”
21. “I want your mothaf*ckin' Daytons and your mothaf*ckin' stereo. And I'll take a double burger with cheese.”
22. “When I said it I meant Never Ignorant Gettin’ Goals Accomplished!”
23.
“I'll take the large fried chicken gizzards platter with... hold on,
does that comes with fries? OK, well yeah, I'll take that with the hot
sauce on the side... and can I get an extra slice of white bread with
that? Cool. And for the drink, I'll just take a Pineapple Faygo.”
24. “Becky, look at her butt…”
25. “I can’t wait for Soul Plane 3 to come out!”
26.
“Preach should have understood that it was just in Cochise’s nature to
get the girls. He meant no malice. Sad they never had the chance to iron
out their differences. And Stony and Rob, had they been open to having a
conversation about how Preach and Cochise were released from jail,
would have understood and never needed to retaliate.”
22. “When I said it I meant Never Ignorant Gettin’ Goals Accomplished!”
ReplyDelete# Salute
>>4. "We named our son Billy, after his father, William, but we just call him Junebug.">>
ReplyDeleteMy great-uncle Peanut stands in contradiction, sir. :D
>>13. “Daniel, when you’re finished frying that bacon, let me know. I’m going to pour the grease in that coffee can on the stove. That’s perfectly good bacon grease.”>>
Again, that is pure white hillbilly right there, my friend.
And now, a list of the items from your list that I, a well-read but undeniably redneck white guy, have absolutely never heard. These aren't the things we don't say in my house, these are the things I cannot even identify out of context:
3. “Who cleaned the chitterlings?”
Cleaned?
12. “Domino, mothaf*cka!”
Made me think of pizza first, then Fats Domino, then playing dominoes. Pretty sure those are all way off.
17. “I know my waves got you seasick! It’s the Dax.”
I got nothin'.
26. “Preach should have understood that it was just in Cochise’s nature to get the girls. He meant no malice. Sad they never had the chance to iron out their differences. And Stony and Rob, had they been open to having a conversation about how Preach and Cochise were released from jail, would have understood and never needed to retaliate.”
Uh . . . nope. I cheated and Googled that one, and it had nothing to do with the Beastie Boys' Sabotage video. Looks like an interesting flick, but you're right; I've never heard of it.